Ductile Anchors

When I sent this to my friend, his immediate response was, “Wait, the universe takes attendance? Is that what those voices I hear are doing?”

He probably imagines the Ferris Bueller scene or the Key and Peele A A ron scene.

So for those of you not in the know, teachers take attendance. As new teachers, we’re often told that taking attendance is our main purpose in life. Nothing will get you in more trouble than deliberately borking the attendance rosters.

And why? Because attendance counts is how schools get funded. Bodies in seats does some magic and that unlocks our funding. Names on rosters are just names until someone marks them present.

So what was I doing when I was out of my seat? I don’t know. Maybe I was chatting with a friend. Maybe I had to stop to use the restroom. Whatever it was, it’s always more important than whatever lesson the universe wants to teach me.